I take so much for granted. I fight with my mom all the time, I don’t appreciate her. I even convince myself sometimes that I don’t love her, but I do. I let my anger get the best of me, our relationship is awful. Today, my friend’s mom died. It made me realize how I should never take those I love for granted, but it’s hard. If my mom or dad died, I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t be able to function, I’d lose it.
I hate that tomorrow isn’t promised to me, I hate even more that it’s not promised to people I love. It makes me think about all the people I’ve cut out of my life. I don’t hate anyone, I can’t. If any of my enemies were to die, I’d feel awful. Death is such a scary thing, I’m more scared of losing those I love than I am to lose my own life. I just ordered flowers to be sent to his house, and I started crying when I was looking through all the beautiful options. I invisioned myself having to do it for my own mother. I know eventually that day is going to come, and I hope it’s not for many years. My mom tells me all the time she thinks she’s dying. She’s 58, which isn’t old. She always brings up how women in her family have a tendancy of dying young. When my mom was 19, her mom died, and she was only 42. My aunt died when I was in the 8th grade, and her daughter was also 19. It’s so scary.
Life is too short to not tell the people you love how much you love them. I’d never wish death of a loved one on anybody in the world.
